In this final push of Smutathon 2019, I’m admittedly very exhausted. I’ve only slept 4-5 hours on most nights for the past couple of weeks because I’ve been so excited and anxious for everyone to arrive and pull this whole thing off. This morning was not without its hiccups — coffee emergency, being locked out,…Continue Reading “A Long Time for Growth”
I’ve been meaning to write this piece for a long time. So today for Smutathon seems like as good a time as any! I need to start by admitting something that doesn’t make me look good. When I was younger, I engaged in a lot of slut-shaming. I held a very, very strong belief that…Continue Reading “Unlearning Sex Negativity by Coffee & Kink”
Without wanting to sound like a teenager, Holly is hands down the coolest person I’ve ever met. Although it’s hard not to sound like a teenager when that is how I feel when I’m with her, or when I’m on my way to meet her, or even when my phone pings and it’s a message from her.Continue Reading "The Way Things Are"
Smut Queen’s Log — Bellesa HQ — 28 Smuttember, 2019
It’s been 6 months since I was sat—
[Oh dear lord, the Britishness is already rubbing off on me. Ahem. Let’s try that again.]
I was sitting at a table with many of my favourite sex blogger faces. We were definitely riding high on the post-Eroticon buzz, and we might have been a drink or so deep when the conversation moved on to, “Well, do you reckon we should talk about this year’s Smutathon?”
It didn’t take long for the many branches of the night’s chats to join together in that moment to result in a lofty idea: why don’t we take Smutathon overseas.
Upon returning to Canada, I presented the idea of bringing Smutathon 2019 to my Bellesa family. I was met with great enthusiasm and the promise of giving me whatever tools and support I needed to make it a great success.Continue Reading "Confessions of a Smutathoner"
Reading a casual-fuck-partner’s old texts on a Smutathon wank break (less fun than a Smutathon fuck break, but more practical for a day of writing in the library) left me thinking about his dick. And my desire to one day sit on his dick, despite my vaginismus. But why is that particular sex act so intriguing: penis-in-vagina sex isn’t a big deal, right?Continue Reading "Oops, I think I accidentally made PIV sex into a big deal"
You are running late. I have ordered a cup of tea. Usually lateness bothers me, but to me you can do no wrong. Evidently, or I wouldn’t still be here. I think about your message last night when I asked how you were. ‘Looking forward to seeing you’ it said. But I know the meaning…Continue Reading “Late, for (what I wish was) a very important date”
I hate you. I want to tell you that you’ve hurt me and remind you of how much you’ve hurt me. I imagine that I’ll get frustrated and cry, and before I know it I am enveloped in you. We kiss, but it’s messy. I’m clawing at the buttons on your shirt because all I…Continue Reading “I want to fuck you like I hate you”
“You have thrown it all away, Stand back, watch it burn – Just watch it all burn.” (“First Burn” – Lin Manuel Miranda) Close to a decade ago, two people I trusted hurt me very badly. The finer points of the story are unimportant; the Spark Notes version is that my partner and metamour (who…Continue Reading “Letting Go Is Not Forgiveness by Coffee & Kink”
Life is not a plot; it’s in the details. – Jodi Picoult, Vanishing Acts When I’m wanking, my fantasies are usually about the broad strokes, if you’ll excuse the pun – falling through a doorway and fucking in the hall, being fingered in a bar, or sucking a cock in an alley. It’s the actions,…Continue Reading “The devil is in the detail…”
I don’t really like it when people go down on me. When I used to have my blog, I wrote a few posts about my lack of confidence with how my vulva looks, based on perfect portrayals in porn I’d watched or a few comments made by ex lovers (or, more accurately, ‘people who were wrong and I shouldn’t have fucked them’).Continue Reading "Would you like to sit?"